Did you see the movie My Sister's Keeper? If not, here's the run-down. At the age of 5 or 6, Kate Fitzgerald is diagnosed with cancer. Kate's mom, Sara Fitzgerald, quits her career as a lawyer, her aunt begins working only part-time, and little Anna is engineered in order to save Kate's life. The plot of this story is irrelevant; what I want to focus on is the reality of such a situation.
At any moment our lives could change forever. We could wake up to find our daughter sick and later that day find that she has cancer; or we could be driving along, minding our own business, and then not have enough time to stop before we hit a child that runs out in to the road. Forever changing our lives, when we were simply on our way to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for dinner. But there are countless examples. A father that has a heart attack, a sister that falls down a flight of stairs. Parents that lose their jobs, or a hurricane that rips our lives from our grasp along with the ground beneath us. And even more simple examples - a bill that can't be paid, or a meal that we can't afford. Depression that overturns a normal and happy life. Mental and physical breakdown. With every day there is the possibility of unforeseen tragedy.
So when things like that hit us and we no longer stand firm, strong, and happy, what does our life turn in to? For Sara Fitzgerald, she turned her whole life around in response to such tragedy and in the attempt to fulfill one goal: "I am not going to let her [Kate] die." And that became her life.
What I am getting at is this: the Fitzgerald family represents all of us. And the Fitzgerald family represents a cluster. We all live in small clusters. Clusters of family or friends or a mix of the two. We have our own worlds. And when something threatens that cluster, what is our response? Will it be like Sara? She devoted her whole life to her daughter. Cooking, cleaning, keeping Kate germ free. So what is the balance between my life and your life? What is the balance between my life and everyone else's life? What am I supposed to live for? Who am I supposed to live for? Where am I supposed to live?
We all have options, and in light of Christ, what do those options mean for us? On the one hand we can respond to what we have been dealt, so to speak. We can focus on my life, on my friends, on my lover, on my family, on my children. And what is wrong with that? Is there anything wrong in that? Many, I assume, would find it honorable for a mother or a father to dedicate their lives to the safety, health, and happiness of their family. And surely that is no small feat. It's not as though that life has been thrown away. Those are actual lives we're talking about.
But what do we do, then, when we are faced with life in Christ, the fellowship of the Body, and the new identity we receive as a son/daughter of God? When we are born again, we are born into a new family, a cosmic family that spans over all of humanity - we are born into a family with millions and billions of fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters.
And where does our responsibility lie?
I cannot give out money to every beggar that I pass on the street. I cannot tend to every orphan. I cannot teach every uneducated child. I cannot feed every hungry mouth. I cannot entertain every sad and lonely person. So what am I to do?
Where is the balance between complete neglect of others and/or complete neglect of myself and my family? How am I to live responsibly? To whom am I responsible? Would it not be honorable to live for my wife, my children, my parents, my siblings and my relatives? If I gave my life for those that are near to me, that would not be nothing? That's at least 10 people! That doesn't seem like much, but it's better than being completely apathetic and not doing anything.
And yet God opens my eyes daily to all the people that do not have parents so willing or able. For the beggars, the orphans, the homeless, the lonely, the depressed, the sick, the dying, the hungry, the thirsty - my heart cries out and I am left speechless, and I feel incapable. In the midst of such great need, I do not want to completely resign to apathy, but I am tempted to yield to my cluster. I am tempted to close the circle. Not to be cold or inhospitable to those in need, but merely as a response to seeing my own limitations.
Is it bad for me to give such weight to these so-called "limitations?" Or shall I have faith that Christ in me makes all the difference, and that through Christ these "limitations" mean nothing? If so, what does that look like, and what does that mean? Where does the rubber hit the road? How does that nice "churchy" thought actually translate into reality? I want to be able to do the good that I am able to do. I want to be do the good that Christ has called me to. But what is that? And what does that mean? What does that mean for me? What does that mean for my family?
There are inevitable problems with the cluster though. When you live in a cluster that means that everyone else is not in the cluster. "They" are them and you are "you." When you live in a cluster you do anything for that cluster. You go to any length to protect that cluster. Sara Fitzgerald was willing to do anything, so she and her husband had a donor baby, Anna - created for the sole purpose of donating various parts of her body for the health of her sister Kate. Or, as another example, America goes to war. Japan goes to war. Uganda goes to war. Palestine goes to war. Do whatever you must to protect the cluster. But then what do we do when we are born again into a Kingdom that has no borders, no ethnic or geographic boundaries? What do we do when we are born into a worldwide family?
To fan this already confused flame even more, Christ is recorded as saying, "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." (Matt.10:37) This, along with many other passages in the New Testament make it sound like any loyalty to our immediate family that supersedes loyalty to Christ or to any other member of our human family is selfish and not "worthy of Christ." The Kingdom of God expands our cluster, or, actually, it disintegrates our cluster until there are no more boundaries. But then what does that make of my family? Who are they to me? And what is my loyalty to them? What is my loyalty to every other human being on earth? Do I have an equal loyalty and responsibility for everyone? Or is it on a sliding scale? Is my responsibility for my family higher than my responsibility for the 43 million orphans around the globe that I don't know?
There are a lot of questions here. And not many clear answers. I guess we'll just see what happens. But, I suppose before I figure out the mysteries of life, I will at least live today as intentionally as I can. And that's all I can do right now.
Thanks for listening,
Seth
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